An Unfortunate Look
by Alex Mcpherson
Summary: An Unfortunate look into what a Literal Self-insert might be like... FEaturing me and Jack Clone.


Self-insert Crack! Fic

Because with work, I can't actually write properly...

_Jack Junior's flat_

Jack opened the door to his newest (and sort of weird) friend, who brought the DVD's for their session of Sci-Fi.

Kid reminded him of himself, Daniel and Teal'c at different times of the day. Despite having a really good poker face, the kid also couldn't play poker for shit.

Ah well.

"I see you have the DVDs... in a bag. How many did you bring?"

Shrugging, his friend replied, "All the ones of the show I know you'd like, and some Simpsons and Family Guy, which I also think you'd like."

"Family Guy?"

"Animated, similar to but very different from Simpsons."

"Oh. Right. What first?"

"The movie which failed but got turned into a TV show."

"Alex?"

"Yeah."

"Where'd you got this?"

"Bought it from amazon."

"Region 2?"

"I'm from Britain."

"Oh. Thats okay then."

...

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"That guy looks a lot like... woah... 'Doctor Jackson'?"

Coughing, Alex shrugged, and said, "The show has a different actor for him, but they're remarkably similar."

After the movie.

"That... creeped me out, Alex."

"Why?"

"Can't say."

"Oh, you'll just ... oh that reminds me, there's an episode of the show from it's 7th season I wanna show you first."

"Whats with that look?"

"what look?"

"That 'I know something and find it hilarious' look."

"Oh, this look?"

"No, the other one."

"Ah. Yes there's a reason, which I think You'll understand after the season 1 episode where the team archaeologist does a Dorothy."

"A what?"

"You know, 'Off to see the Wizard'?"

"I got that part."

"Then...?"

...

"Are you freaking serious?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. Just put it on."

"Yeah... oh I think the actor in this looks like you by the way... No idea how close..."

Ten minutes later

"You are really really freaking me out."

"So it's your actor twin."

"..."

Two hours later. "How many seasons did you say this ran for?"

"Well, it finished up at ten seasons, but the last two where with this guy leading SG-1 that wasn't popular, along with the new base commander..."

An hour later.

"You know about the SGC, right?"

"You mean, I know you're a clone, SGC real, Wormhole extreme written by a sort-of alien, who's actually a human from a society that had developed offworld taken there etcetera goa'uld yadda yadda yadda... Oh, I'm so disappointed that the thing with the 'tank top' way early on in SG-1's first year wasn't featured in an episode. Really disappointed."

Jack Junior finally cracked up.

"Carters' going to flip so bad if she finds out..."

"Well, unless you want to loose Daniel to the ancient city Atlantis that's in another galaxy... I figure let things take their course. Well, aside from preventing Janet's death..."

"...What?"

"yeah... bad one that. But, I do figure on a few things. For one, the main enemy of seasons 9 and 10, they're... well, lets just say that I really hope my presence at all doesn't allow those enemies to learn early."

"What enemies?"

"Well, before the Ancients even inhabited _our_ galaxy, they evolved in another one, then came here. But back there, well, like us, there were the scientists, and the religious nuts. I'm talking dark ages but with space travel.

"Ancients eventually came here, the ones into the science, leaving the religious ones back there. Only, like the ancients, they figured the, non-sciency part of ascension out, whereas it was the sciency part that allowed the ancients we sorta know and not exactly love to ascend. The others, called Ori. Don't worry, Merlin was an ancient, and on a planet somewhere out there with some mystical, sort of tech-disguised-as-magic traps, guarding the key to defeating the cheating scumbags. Wonder if the Alterans – the ancients' name for themselves – would agree to a 'Alterici' deal. You'll get it when you get to that point in watching the, .. ahem... series.

"Now if you want to start watching those... I'm gonna see if I can 'magic up' a conversation with a higher being."

"Did it work?"

"Nope. Oma didn't return my call, so to speak. Think I can get a trip to Kheb out of Grey-haired Jack?"

"He's got...?"

"Figure that from all the worryin about Daniel and stuff. Thing with those human-form replicators way down the line, near end of season 8... ahem... about a year or so from now, well, the ship he's on'll be destroyed with him aboard, but you know, he done that lightbulb trick. The 'general O'Neill' had faith he weren't dead. 'I'm not fallin for it this time' he will say, if that happens..." Grinning Alex continued, "I call him, Yo Yo Jackson."

Jack Junior snickered.

"but yeah, all that sort of stuff, thats why the grey hair."

"So.. Atlantis.."

"Yes, I have all 5 seasons of atlantis. Disappointed with the finale though. They actually tried to cram a whole movie into 45 minutes. Whereas Daniels big "should I ascend again, hold on, why am I in limbo and why the hell is this fat guy creeping me out, wait, that's Anubis" episode right before the season 8 two-part finale got to be a full 60 minutes long. Or an hour and a half with adverts."

Huh?"

"Yeah, 15 minutes of adverts. Hour-long shows my Ass. And don't get me started on the one that was finished with it's first season when I left. Stargate Universe? Na-uh. More like Stargate Housewives. Well, not _that_ bad..." Jack Junior shuddered... "In fact, think of Battlestar Galactica, the remake, and remove the 'cylons' part."

"And how is that any better?"

"Well... I don't know. I liked it, but there was too much focus on relationships, and the one really-likable character, isn't getting the development he and the actor deserved, because his characters' the "one we relate to" as a guy who went from playing computer games as a MIT-drop out to being 20 galaxies plus from ours. Yeah the name fits with the circumstance, but there's a drips and drabs style of delivery on the Stargate and the universe part of the show...

"And now I realise just how much of a fanatic I am. And I'm in the universe, heh, which I'm a afanatic of the show set about."

"Freaky."

"Not as freaky as some fanfiction I've seen about it. Can you believe there are fans that 'ship' Jack and Daniel, You and Jack, You and Daniel, or hell, go for a trifecta."

"Shudder."

"Exactly."


End file.
